Moving from one city to another brings so many changes. There's an unfamiliar home to decorate and make your own, sacred space to create, and new friends to meet. And, if you're a Pagan who is accustomed to celebrating with other people, there is a new Coven or Circle to find or to create on your own.
How To Connect
The time honored way of finding a group to celebrate is to check with your local metaphysical bookstore. Many have bulletin boards where you can post your intent on finding a group and leave you e-mail address, maintaining your privacy and anonymity while reaching out to the Pagan community. As the interest in neo-Pagan beliefs continues to grow, many stores are offering classes and instruction in Witchcraft, Wicca, or ritual. Joining a class or workshop is an excellent way to meet new Pagans in your area.
There are also a handful of Internet networking resources which organize interested Pagans by state and often by town. The Witches Voice (http://www.witchvox.com), The Pagan Webweaving Page (http://www.hue.org/paganww/), and Pagan Profiles (http://www.paganprofiles.com) all offer this service.
If you choose to reach out to another Pagan this way, make sure you include your intent in the e-mail and your background in the Craft if you feel it's appropriate. Remember the threefold law - the depth of their response will many times mirror your initial e-mail. If you simply write, "Are you Pagan?" and send off the e-mail, chances are you'll get a one word response or none at all. But if you take the time to write a letter, to introduce yourself as if they were a potential new friend, you'll receive a much better response.
Traditionally, Covens do not advertise for new members. If you're looking to form a group of your own, reach out to the local community and make a few friends first. Invite them over to share a ritual. See how you connect, how well you bond, and how well you work together within the rite. A Coven is more than a group that gathers to celebrate ritual - in many ways, it is a family. Make sure that those you welcome into your group are people who you would want to share you best moments with - and who you would want at your side when you face your worst.
Things To Consider
If you are presented with the opportunity to join a group, there are a number of things you need to consider. Is the Tradition similar to your own? If it's not, and you are experienced in your own path, you may have philosophical differences with the beliefs of the group. What is the Coven's direction? Where do they plan to grow? You may be looking for individuals to celebrate with and learn from, while they may ceremonial magicians working toward group sex magick. The Coven should be a perfect fit, not something you feel that you need to compromise with. After all, you will be working on your personal and spiritual growth with this group of people, an area where you should always follow your own heart and do what you know is right for you.
The other thing to make sure of, especially if you are an experienced Pagan and you're thinking about joining a hierarchical group, is that the leadership of the Circle or Coven has more experience and knowledge than you do. This may seem obvious, but with the secrecy that has surrounded the Craft for so many years, Covens simply spring up with no formal training and with little or no personal experience to draw from. There are those that would simply assume the role of High Priest or High Priestess without the background, knowledge, or experience to fill that role. What many newcomers to the Craft don't realize is that the High Priesthood isn't something you simply do; it is a position that you grow into. It is a hard, difficult position where you give everything you are to the Coven, not expecting anything in return, but giving of yourself simply because the joy you get from watching your Coven-mates grow and thrive is greater than any thanks anyone could ever give.
Creating Your Own
If you decide to create your own Coven, it should be an outgrowth of your own personal practice and views on the Craft. As you will become the core of the group, as it will slowly be built around you, you need to be sure of your own path.
There's a reason why we Pagans use concepts like "a year and a day" and why experienced Witches and Wiccans take on students. You don't simply become a High Priest or High Priestess. It's not something that you can take a class to be qualified for or read a book and know how to do. It is a level of growth that represents the sum total of what you are as a Witch and you must have the knowledge and life experience to back up that role.
If you are ready to create a Coven or Circle of your own, you'll know. How? You will have enough knowledge that you will not have to turn to a book as your guide as how to proceed. By looking at your own solitary practice and drawing parallels between what you do on your own and what you would like to do in a group you form, you will find every answer you need as to the formation and methodology of the group. Ideally, you will have worked with students, not simply answering a handful of questions here and there, but actually helping someone find their own path over a period of months or years. From those that you have celebrated with during the years that you have slowly built your own practice, in the experience you've gained from coming out of the broom closet, either to a few chosen friends or to a wider group of people, you'll know the type of people you would like to celebrate with. And from your own approach to the Craft and the way that you view yourself in comparison to the larger Pagan community, you'll know whether you want to base your group on a hierarchical framework or a level playing field, like that presented in the concept of consensus.
These are hard standards to meet, but I feel they are necessary. There is a vast difference between celebrating ritual with a group of Pagan friends, even if you gather regularly, and forming a Coven from scratch. If you have been celebrating with fellow Pagans and you decide to formalize your connection and form a Coven, you may find that much of the groundwork has already been laid by what you do together. However, if you are simply looking to start a group, if you simply decide that you want to be a High Priest or High Priestess because you feel the time is right, step back and reevaluate why you feel you're ready to take this step. There are endless horror stories of people who have joined Covens formed by people that weren't ready to be a High Priest or High Priestess, who set themselves up in a position of leadership when their own foundation in the Craft was still shaky.
If you are truly called to be a High Priest or High Priestess, there is no rush, no hurry to jump in and assume the role. You will find that once you become what you desire, that you will be asked to freely give more of yourself than you ever imagined possible to give. Take the time now, put in the effort and determination to learn, to grow, to develop yourself first. It's from this pool of knowledge and experience that you will draw from, not a book or guide. And the more experience, knowledge and wisdom that you have gained the hard way, through first hand experience, through trial and error, the better suited you will be for the role of High Priest or High Priestess when the time is right.