"Dad, what's this?"
I looked up from what I was doing. My daughter held a quartz crystal a friend of mine had given me long ago. I'm particularly picky about the stones I work with - either I connect with them or I don't - and in this case I had never been drawn to this particular stone's energy. So the piece of quartz had been passed onto my children, living life as a unicorn's horn before finding its way onto the corner of a bookshelf in their room.
"It's a magick rock, sweetie," I explained.
"Can you show me how to use it?" she asked.
So I told her to hold the stone in both of her hands and try to feel it, not with her skin, but with her heart.
My daughter laughed. "How am I supposed to do that?"
"Just try, sweetie."
So she obediently held the stone and tried to feel it with her heart.
"I don't feel anything," she admitted at last. "It's just a rock."
No harm there. I didn't feel anything either. It's why the stone eventually left my ritual gear and became one of my children's playthings. So I went and retrieved a second piece of quartz crystal. The first had been the size of a candy bar and was cut and polished; this one was raw, half the length of a computer keyboard and as thick as my forearm. The energy it radiates is incredibly strong, something that more than one of my pagan friends have described as "better than coffee."
The stone was cold to the touch, but as I instructed my daughter to "feel it with her heart," she exclaimed, "This one's really warm!"
Even at five years old, she could sense the stone's energy.
Her next question?
"Now what do I do?"
There are two competing fields of thought when it comes to the instruction of minors. Some believe that a young student simply isn't ready to learn until after they come of age, either through a predetermined biological change (like first menstruation), a recognition of their emotional maturation, or the celebration of the individual's eighteenth birthday. I've always been of the belief that if a child is old enough to express an interest, they're old enough to learn. Neither approach is solely correct and both rely heavily on the perspective of both the teacher and student.
However, if you find yourself in the position where it's appropriate to teach a young child, here are a few guidelines to keep in mind.
Remember the Goddess
It's useful when training a new student to think of the three aspects of the Goddess (Maiden, Mother and Crone) and parallel them with a student's development. Any new student - even a mature adult - should be treated as if their path reflected the Maiden aspect of the Goddess. When we consider the Maiden, we imagine someone carefree, without a lot of responsibilities, and as someone who has the freedom to explore without being tied down to a particular way of doing things.
This is additionally important when working with a child, especially a younger child. When teaching an adult, this approach allows the individual to explore the concepts, philosophies and techniques used in paganism so they can make an informed decision when evaluating paganism as their choice of spiritual paths. With a child, this approach mirrors their position in the greater cycle of life. Children live in the Maiden aspect of the Goddess. They have a need to play, for rules that keep them safe but allow them to explore, and a continual supply of love and attention. If for no other reason than to honor that aspect of divinity, we need to respect where the child is in their own growth and life development.
I handle this with my own children by storing my ritual gear where they can see it (on shelves in my bedroom) and allowing them to handle the items if they first ask permission. When an event calls for a family ritual, I respect their attention span by letting them assist with the actual energy work and visualization, but do the remainder of the ritual as if I were a solitary practitioner. I may answer questions or share a technique with them when asked, but I don't assign them exercises to do and I typically don't offer information or opportunity unless it's something similar to, "There's a full moon tonight and I'm going to use the magick stuff. Do you want to help or would you rather play?"
If You Have To Explain, It's Too Complicated
With young children, it's imperative that you keep things as simple as possible. I personally try to teach the core concept and nothing more until such a time as they not only ask questions pertaining to the next step, but stay focused as I explain it to them.
For example, take my daughter's work with the quartz crystal. Rather than explaining the concept of energy, I simply had her reach out with her spirit and connect with the crystal. It didn't require any background or explanation, meaning that I had simplified the concept enough. When we do ritual work together, I don't explain the concepts of ritual, magick or the cauldron to them. Instead the cauldron becomes a "wishing bowl" and the children simply push their wishes into their hands and let them go beneath the surface of the water.
Be Careful of Culture
You need to remember that your child has a culture all their own, composed of playmates and classmates, of daycare, kindergarten and grade school. Any instruction that establishes a deity or a specific philosophy or theology is going to change a culture, regardless of whether you're working with a village, an adult, or a single child. The child exists in a world where Santa Claus is an actual person, where there is a vast amount of joy to be found in applying crayons to paper, and where you, their parent, can save them from all that's upsetting or scary in the world by simply taking them into the harbor of your arms.
But what's more is that they exist in their own culture, surrounded by children their own age who believe much the same way as they do. By instilling our own chosen beliefs on them, not only do we distance them from their classmates as surely if we raised them in fundamental conservative Christian beliefs, but we inadvertently separate them from their peer group. Children can be cruel and will typically mock those that are different. As difficult as childhood an early adolescence is to navigate, we can steer a path where our children are raised by our ethical standards yet aren't asked to believe in a specific pantheon or theology. It's totally appropriate for you to instill your ethics into your children, but sooner or later, they will choose their own spiritual path. By giving them that freedom now, we will be positioned to share their experiences with them later and will hopefully remain close to them as they pass through each phase of their life.
If we look at life through spiritual eyes, children are simply souls that typically don't have a great deal of proficiency with mundane life. That doesn't mean, regardless of their age, that they aren't drawn to the same concepts we are, regardless of whether that is love, joy or spirituality. As parents and guardians, we can help them grow by respecting where they are on their own path by giving them solid boundaries to protect and guide them while instilling the freedom and security to allow them to explore.