Magickal Correspondences
February 10, 2008
by Jeffrey Pierce
Thank you to those of you who expressed concern regarding my silence over the last couple of weeks. All of the notes I received on the topic were simple but heartfelt things. I got a good laugh out of the subtle humor of a note from
Chris, a reader who recently discovered the site. Chris wrote in to say, "I hope you're alright. Some of the material seems to be a bit behind schedule, and I hope things are alright because I have just found your web site and it is the best material I have ever come across in my entire life. Of course by that I mean it tells me what I want to hear. But I think it also tells me what I need to hear and what will be helpful to me, so you will have to live forever and continue writing." I realize that I don't often share the kudos I receive for the work that I do here, but the words Chris chose left me chuckling and laughter is always a worthwhile thing to share.
Yes, I'm fine. One of the challenges that I face writing Old Ways is that I'm not only a teacher - I still have my own growth and lessons to attend to. Sometimes that's a very smooth process. Sometimes it takes me a little bit to understand and process a lesson of my own.
You may remember
a few weeks back in a previous edition of Magickal Correspondences I mentioned that I had dealt with a rather serious medical condition. I had become aware that I had a brain tumor and, like a previous bout with cancer, it eventually disappeared completely on its own. However, it was also made clear to me that, if I hadn't chosen to stick around, that I would be leaving this incarnation a little more than three years from now.
I don't believe that I offered very many details on the situation, other than the fact that it was a brain tumor and that I was in a certain amount of pain. A dear pagan friend,
Hawthorne, addressed this topic in her latest email to me. "I just read your
wounded healer blog and wanted to share something I had seen and didn't before feel a need to impart. After you wrote about your illness several weeks ago I took a look into my magick mirror and saw it as a dark spot in the lower back left portion of your head. A closer inspection showed an intumescence with a crusty or crackled dark cap at the head of it whose surface, on yet closer inspection, displayed a skull and bones. Death."
Hawthorne nailed the situation perfectly, including the location of the tumor. The only difference is that it was on the lower back right portion of my head, not the left. But it's pretty easy to forget when you're looking in a mirror that left and right are typically reversed. Nicely done, sis.
What I didn't anticipate was that the healing also represented a graduation from one phase of my path to the next. For those of you who have been reading
The First Cycle course, it may not have occurred to you, but since it's the
First Cycle, there's the implication that other Cycles follow. "What's a Cycle?" you ask.
At its heart a Cycle is a pattern of mystical, spiritual, and personal growth that mirrors a phase of our life. If life were school and your spiritual path was higher education, you can think of The First Cycle being undergrad work, the Second Cycle being grad school, and the Third Cycle as being post doctoral work. Each Cycle not only has its own unique lessons, but comes with more responsibility and more "artistic license" with the flow of reality (in other words, manifestation begins to unfold and an unprecedented level.) Give me two weeks or so and I'll whip up an article that goes into more depth on the topic. It's interesting stuff.
Deciding to stick around was the final piece that moved me from the First Cycle to the Second Cycle on my own path. The coming spring equinox here in North America marks my twenty-first year on my path since devoting my life to my spiritual journey. Using the analogy above, it only took me two decades to get my Bachelor's Degree! (And yes, I may be a little slow, but I fully encourage you to laugh about that one!)
What was unexpected was that the new lessons and such didn't trickle in - they simply appeared. It was sort of like being sound asleep and bolting upright in bed as the marching band that's silently crowded into your bedroom blares the first note of a Sousa march. My psychic abilities were instantly off the scale, to the point that it was almost overwhelming and I had to teach myself to turn them down after spending years and years learning to crank them up. Manifestation became so extreme that I had to start monitoring my thought processes and the old phrase, "Be careful what you wish for," became a reality in my little corner of reality. This is one of the reasons why I push personal growth as part of a mystical path. Your spiritual evolution and the ability to work magick with a measure of proficiency are intimately connected.
Before I decided to stay around and continue to teach and serve all of you to the best of my ability, I experienced numerous other symptoms associated with the brain tumor that I managed to conceal reasonably well from the people in my world. On top of the pain, it took a great deal of focus to be able to speak. I had difficulty with both my hearing and my vision. My sense of balance was impaired and I fell down the stairs with such regularity that it became a running joke with the people in my world. I hide being sick pretty well and you normally can't tell unless you look at my eyes that I'm feeling under the weather. And with that particular ability at my disposal, I chose to be silent about the condition and deal with it on my own.
But what you have to consider is that healing the tumor wasn't simply a physical journey. I not only experienced the symptoms but all of the fears and insecurities that accompany them. Imagine being a photographer and losing your sight or losing your hearing when music is the center of your world. I'm an athlete and a backpacker and found I couldn't negotiate stairs in either direction without falling down. Who would take care of my children when I'm gone? How much worse is this going to get as my condition continues to deteriorate? Each of those fears, not to mention the reality of my death looming before me, had to be dealt with one at a time and the fear released and replaced with love.
I'm currently working embracing a lesson that my favorite spirit guide, Acarya, presented to me almost exactly a year and a day before I finished up my tumor work. I work with Acarya on a very infrequent basis, mostly because he's the sort who takes the whole, "You have the lesson before you, until you have mastered it, you are not ready for more," approach to spiritual instruction.
Our most recent lesson together went something like this:
Acarya walked next to his student, the older man setting a carefully measured pace, easing through the closely cropped meadow grass that bordered the blossoming orchard. His student had come to this place, between the worlds, seeking advice and insight into the events of his life.
The older man stopped, gracefully turning toward his student, his motions so precise that they barely disturbed the robes that were draped over his lean, athletic frame. Acarya could have been from any of a half-dozen Asian countries. Even his student was unsure of his origins.
"Each of us begins our spiritual journey as such," the teacher began, the lines around his eyes deepening as he squinted his vision against the sun. He gestured casually to one side and a gleaming suit of armor appeared next to him, suspended just above the grassy meadow. "Many teach that the journey is to remove the armor. It is said that the defenses that protect us also keep us insulated from love."
As if in response to his words, the armor disappeared, leaving a vague, naked human form hovering in the spring air. Light radiated from the center of its chest, shrouding anatomy with illumination. The details of the body were indistinct. Even in the sunlight of a perfect spring day it was impossible to tell if the form was male or female.
"When the armor is removed, love can be felt, but the sword can pierce the flesh." A polished, silver sword appeared, suspended in the air. As Acarya continued, the blade suddenly thrust toward the defenseless person and sunk itself bloodlessly into the androgynous being's chest. "Others teach that to truly experience love, we must accept the blade. That love only flows when it is still fully experienced when the flesh is pierced."
Acarya paused, letting his student roll the concept around in his mind. "But this would be love in spite of pain. Pain is a product of fear. Fear is the absence of love. Release the fear, you release the pain. Without fear, without pain, there can only be love."
As often as he had come to this meadow, Acarya's student knew better than to ask a clarification. The teacher was wise beyond all measure. Questions went unanswered, met only with a silent pause. The message would be completely presented, but it would be framed according to the teacher's understanding of the student's own learning process.
The message was rich with subtext. In lessons long since committed to knowing, Acarya had taught that there was only one force in all of existence - love. It was like being submerged in the sea, an experience where the water of the ocean that surrounded us and filled us was love, not a marriage of hydrogen and oxygen. At times, mankind experienced fear, but fear was only the ripples one created when trying to push at love and move it away. All of the negative things in physical incarnation - hatred, greed, pain, even fear itself - were born out of our own efforts to push love away from us and the manner in which we interpreted the ripples we created.
Acarya turned to look into his student's eyes, holding his gaze to indicate the importance of the coming message. "If the journey is a process of removing what keeps us from experiencing love," he began, "Then removing the armor is only the first step." He gestured at the human form beside him and the light within it began to grow, the physical body fading away as it did so, leaving an indistinct brightness where once a person had stood. "The sword cannot pierce what is not present. You need to let go of what you seek to protect. If there is nothing to protect, you cannot be harmed. If you cannot be harmed, there is no place for fear." He paused, offering a knowing smile to his student. "If there is no fear, there can be only love."
So I've been letting go of "what I seek to protect" - and at this point on my journey, that can only be defined as my sense of self. I don't know how to explain it better than that. For instance, let's say that I'm late for Sparrow's basketball game and a car cuts me off and then drives far below the speed limit. If my response is anger or frustration, I have to ask myself why. What's the process behind that? I know that Sparrow loves me. If I showed up late, she would be just as happy to see me there as when I show up a few minutes early. But I'm
afraid that she might not, that she won't understand, that she'll be disappointed. When I let go of the fear and simply think of my daughter's love, I could care less how slow the car in front of me is driving. The surrounding factors are unimportant - what's important is that I'm putting my own energy in motion and seeing it through to be there for someone I love.
And, as selfish as it might sound, my reaction to the driver is a reflection of my own sense of self, not how much Sparrow loves me. What Acarya has challenged me to do is reach a point where it's not Sparrow's love that I'm focusing on, but the concept that, as all life is sacred, by extension, all life is love. And to do that, I have to be presented with opportunities and circumstances that push my boundaries and test my limits, even where I am on my own path, so that I have the opportunity to continue to grow as I reach for that goal.
One of my teachers in all of this is someone I've never met, but is represented by a single photograph and the accompanying story. They were part of a photojournalistic piece in
The Sun magazine years and years ago that focused on political and religious prisoners in Tibet. My inspiration was an old woman who had been thrown in prison, simply for practicing her beliefs. I no longer have the article, but if memory serves, her story went something like this.
"Each day, I would pray for my guards, asking that they find forgiveness for themselves for what they did. When they discovered that I was praying, they would wait outside of my cell until they heard my prayers and then would come in and beat me until I stopped. So I learned to pray without using my voice, moving only my lips, so they would not hear me. When the guards discovered this, they would stand outside my door, watching my lips until they began to move and then would come in and beat me until I stopped. So I learned to pray without moving my lips, so that I could ask that they find forgiveness for themselves, that they would find healing for their anger, and they could not stop me because they did not know when I prayed for them."
And that, in a nutshell, is Acarya's latest lesson to me. "You need to let go of what you seek to protect. If there is nothing to protect, you cannot be harmed. If you cannot be harmed, there is no place for fear. If there is no fear, there can be only love."
So that's where I've been the last couple of weeks. Learning; growing; getting my bearings. Chris was right. I am a little behind with the whole publication schedule. I'm working on the next installment of The First Cycle and will be going back and catching up the other materials as time allows. Many apologies for the delay.
And now, on to your email.
Grayln, who is part of a spiritual discussion group and a truly sweet soul, wrote in regarding
A Field Guide to Humankind. Six months ago she asked her group, "'What if the God of the holy writs, all sacred books, isn't the actual Creator/energy? What if, this God whom you know by so many names is man-made? Conformed to our human standards, rules, regulations, beliefs formed so that this Creator "fits" our minds? What if the actual energy of the Divine which is within all things is too big to fit in a word, a book, a rule, a name?'"
In the article in question, I presented the following concept:
If one in every billion stars has a planet orbiting around it that's capable of sustaining life, and out of those planets, one in every billion has life that has evolved to the point where it has developed even the most rudimentary spiritual path, then there are approximately 25,000 planets where spirituality has evolved.
And chances are that their gods and goddesses and the souls that inhabit their version of the afterlife look very different from our own. To be all inclusive, the divine would have to encompass every species of sentient life, not just cater to our own understanding of ourselves and the reflection we place upon our interpretation of the greater weave of reality.
Continuing, Grayln offered, "So, you can see how I was gently smiling at your discussion this past week. It caused quite a stir to say the least but to make a good soup one has to stir the cauldron every once and awhile in order to keep things from sticking to the bottom!" Thank you so much for your email and your continuing kindness and encouragement.
Mel also enjoyed the article. (Thank you for your kind words.) She went on to write, "Your words seem to vibrate from a sense of knowing. It's like
4 + 4 = 8. People can say that and know it's true. You talk about spirituality like that. You don't come across as entertaining a theory that you have or something you 'think' might be true, you say it like 'This is how it is.'" You're right, I've been blessed with some really wonderful opportunities this lifetime. Usually I edit around comments like this for
Magickal Correspondences. In all honesty, while I love teaching all of you, when the spotlight turns from, "Jeffrey, the teacher," to "Look! He's experienced something different," it makes me intensely uncomfortable. But as many of you have noted both in your own work and in your correspondence to me, there's change in the air. While I dislike admitting to comments like Mel's, I think it's going to be important to let people know that they're not alone when they begin experiencing more and more things outside of mainstream expectations. Mel, you mentioned that you channel spirits and I don't think there's a much higher compliment than the one you paid me. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
"Just wanted to take a minute and say thank you for this lovely site and all the work you put in it."
Fern is pretty wonderful, always offering nurturing, supportive energy when she writes. "And also to say if ya ever need someone this old Grandmama is here... even healers need a hug now and then." See, that's exactly what I mean! That, folks, is nurturing, supportive energy. "We are here to help each other in this life and I would be honored to be here for you if ya ever need someone to talk to. You take care and may ya be blessed mightily for your giving heart."
This may not make sense to everyone, but I really needed to be pulled past my limits during this last stretch. I found myself for a solid week holding a sobbing friend in my arms each and every day. As I gave and gave, I consciously monitored my energy and attitudes, doing what I could to prune my "self" out of the equation. It was hard work, emotionally exhausting, but oh the beauty on the other side of that!
I've actually written to a couple of crones that I adore and respect to form sort of a mutual support group. I have stuff going on in my world right now that is completely outside of even my realm of experience. Occasionally, I just really need to talk to someone about it. That's been one of the major reasons why publication has been delayed. As I explained to one of my close pagan friends, "Imagine that instead of writing about spirituality, I'm writing about physics. So I have these articles planned out on levers and pulleys, velocity, gravity... all kinds of interesting things. Then I start my first day of grad school and it's all about quantum mechanics, parallel dimensions, and non-linear time. Suddenly, none of the little things seem important."
That said, I have been around the block a few times to know that there's a process to spiritual evolution. The "little things" will keep coming. But I'll be sprinkling in some deeper material here and there.
What we may not think about is, in Acarya's lesson about letting go of self so we can completely embrace love, that we're not just making ourselves more loving, but we're becoming love. As we've looked at before, Spirit is love. And if we erase all the divisions between ourselves and Spirit, things begin to get a little wild. After all, things work the way they do here because we've agreed to certain limitations, we've chosen to accept the illusion of living in a structured physical reality. So what happens when the illusion falls away? Right now I'm getting the very first taste of that. And if I'm starting to ramble and not make any sense, well, this is exactly the reason why publication has been delayed - this is the fifth or sixth time I've attempted to write this article, starting nearly from scratch each time. Trust me, the lessons never stop, regardless of where you are on your path. And when you begin to let go of the pain, fear, and angst that make our daily lessons so challenging, the lessons themselves just grow larger to fill in the energetic void.
Here's a small example of what's been going on in my world.
As I have been taking care of people in my world, I noticed that whatever issue they bring my way completely reverses itself into whatever they were hoping to achieve within about thirty-six hours. Relationships that were on the rocks suddenly become better than ever; people drop their walls and emotionally heal; extremely difficult job situations are suddenly remedied; even health issues suddenly heal. Now, keep in mind, I'm still letting go of "self" at this point, so in my emotional exhaustion (remember, I was holding sobbing people in my arms each and every day) I didn't so much feel envious as I did sorry for myself. After all, my world was filled with problems too. So after a moment where I cried on the shoulder of a good friend of mine, wished out loud, "Here everyone else is finding what they want and need. If only my financial situation straightened itself out... I have all of these invitations from students around the world to go visit and I would love to do that one day." I mentioned a specific country, realized I was being a putz, gave my friend a big hug, thanked them, and dropped the rest of my ego on the spot.
Within days of wishing out loud, a multi-millionaire shows up on my doorstep, wanting me to run off with them, a journey that would take me to the doorstep of the specific country I mentioned by early summer.
The tricky part of the equation is, that's not my path. I know that. Even with the world literally offered to me, I know where I'm called. I'm here to teach, to be humbly thankful that I've been entrusted to guide you on even the tiniest portion of your path. And, quite honestly, that's how I feel. It's truly an honor.
To take the next steps on my own path, I have to follow the guidance that Acarya offered me. I have to completely surrender myself. I've done a good deal of that over the last two weeks or so, but then, I've been given a lot of opportunities to practice. But that means when things are the hardest for me, that I can't turn to have that pain comforted, I have to let go of the processes behind it. At first, that was a tremendously frightening journey. But, just like in the illustration that Acarya offered me, every bit of flesh that I surrender is replaced by a little more light. In all honesty, I have no idea where this will all end up - only that the process is filled with goodness and magick, with love and tears, and that the world is rapidly becoming beautiful beyond all description. Not just the good parts. All of it.
Jennifer wrote in to say, "Thank you for being here. I have been looking for something or someone to help me lay the groundwork of what has been in my life since birth. You see my parents raised me without ANY touches of "religion". But I've known, all my life, that there is SO much more than this.....this world of touch....this world of "stuff". Right now I am heavily off-balance..... Full of urges and strong feelings....and hopefully after giving "Old Ways" some time......Then I will be able to put these feelings and urges to rightful usefulness in the daily ritual of my life......what it will become. There is so much work to be done."
And that, in a nutshell is why I'm here. Why I teach. Why I'm not off, running around the world and living in the lap of luxury. If I was to help just one person, for one moment, then all of the sacrifice is worth it. And that's why I try to be honest about the points on my path where I stumble, the mistakes that I make and learn from. If nothing else, it lets you know that you're not alone in your struggles. I face them too.
You've heard me refer to you as my magickal family in the past.. If you've ever seen me with Sparrow and Bear, you know how much I love them. If you've ever seen me with the friends and family that are closest to my heart, there's no question that I love them beyond all measure. Never forget that you're part of my family too - and the love that I feel for my dear friends, my family, and my children is the same love that I extend to each and every one of you.
Thank you again to those of you who wrote in to check on me and those of you who trusted everything was okay. As always, may you be well and truly blessed and may these words find you and yours well and filled with joy.
In peace and light,
Jeffrey Pierce
www.oldways.com
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