Blue Skies
January 15, 2010
by Keith Caplin
A spiritual teacher from India once pointed out that there is no such thing as a gray sky. The sky is always blue. Sometimes, however, gray clouds come and cover the blue sky. We then think that the sky is gray even though it is still blue under the gray clouds. It is the same with our hearts and minds.
This is a pretty powerful and deep realization when you really think about it. To be able to shift our perception of ourselves in such a way to see the love and perfection that lies under the gray clouds that may sometimes be present. To have the self awareness of ourselves that the “gray clouds” aren’t who we are. To know that the true self is the perfection that lies underneath, the perfection that each of us were born with. The power of this teaching comes from the knowing that the sky is always blue, no matter how thick and dark the clouds may seem, underneath it all is the beauty of the blue sky. Why is it that we are so willing to accept this truth about the sky, but when it comes to accepting the same truth about ourselves we quickly dismiss it? We may even become uncomfortable with the thought of “being a perfect being”.
What are some of the things that can be the “gray clouds” that cover our greatness? For me personally the first thing that comes to mind would be the fear of being judged. For others it might be anger, or feelings of “having to be right”, or the fear of actually accepting your greatness. All of these things are things that our ego feeds us based on our insecurities. All of these things have a way of covering our brilliance which is our “blue sky”. Throughout our lives we have things happen to us that put walls around our hearts to “protect” us at that specific time. However, many times those walls stay up “just in case” the situation happens again and there by stay beyond their initial purpose. Somewhere inside we tell ourselves that we better keep this wall because we don’t want to feel that pain again, and in doing so we close our self off, and so begins the process of walling off our true self and in essence walling off our ability to show love.
I can remember very vividly for myself a clear example of this. Before moving to Phoenix I had a very emotionally intimate group of friends. We were extremely close and open with each other. After moving to Phoenix and “coming out” to myself, I continued to approach people with the same openness I had with my friends back east. The difference being that not only was I looking at building emotional relationships I was now also looking at building physical relationships. After meeting several people and being completely open to them and it going no where I found myself “walling” off my heart and not fully sharing who I was as a person to spare myself the heartache of being let down again. Over time I found myself being the “gray sky” when it came to potential romantic relationship. The relationships I was developing and entering into were not as my authentic self, they were from a place of me being “less than” I truly was. The strange part for me was that this was not the case when it came to friendships. When approaching friendships I was still the open person I was with the people back east. There was some wall that I built up around my heart when it came to developing romantic relationships. This realization has been something that is recent for me and has been something that I have been consciously working on to change in my life.
For me I have started back at the foundation of it all, and that would be me developing a relationship with me, for me to actually take the time and to KNOW my greatness and have a loving relationship with myself. So many times I have heard people say that “when I am in a relationship I would do ….” Or that “My life would be so much better if I was in a relationship”. My question to them is why wait until you are in a relationship? Why not develop that relationship with yourself? I have been relearning how to love myself. And I know that I am a complete and whole person as I am, and I don’t need a relationship with someone to make me “complete”. This has been a journey of self discovery that has been very empowering.
The funny thing about the walls we build to keep things out, is that they also do a good job at keeping things IN, and in doing so prevent people from seeing the real you. The ego likes this, because it helps to fuel our insecurities. The ego tells us things like “it’s a good thing that they can’t see the real you because who would like the real you?” Who would like to see all of our self perceived flaws, all of our self imposed imperfections?” These walls if in place long enough and enforced strongly enough can even prevent us from seeing ourselves. True healing comes from seeing our bare, “unwalled” selves first. When you can see that person and say with a fully open heart “I LOVE YOU” and really mean it. There are many self help books that give the exercise to stand in front of a full length mirror naked and say to yourself “I love you” and really mean it. These exercises aren’t there just to fill pages, they are REALLY powerful, and to be honest, not very easy to do at first, but as you do it and really mean it something amazing happens, you actually believe it.
Imagine what you life would look like if you, as your true authentic self, showed up. Imagine being fully present and allow ourselves to really be seen. Do you really believe that people would be repulsed by what they see? Of course not, it would be quite the contrary; they will be dazzled by the brilliance of the light that is shining from within you. Have you ever walked into a party and just felt great about what you were wearing, how you looked, how you felt, that feeling that came from the inside and bust outward to everyone there. You probably recall that that was a fun gathering and you had a really good time and met many people. I’m sure that you can also recall gatherings that were quite the contrary; these would be when you weren’t being your true self.
We are great attractors; it is probable one of our greatest and powerful gifts next to our ability to love. We have the ability to draw to us exactly what we want whether we are aware of it or not. I can think of many instances in my life where there was conscious attraction and unconscious attraction, believe me I much like the conscious attraction better. Many time the unconscious attraction comes from our ego feeding our insecurities and playing the “tapes” in our head about our self perceived imperfections, and sure enough doesn’t a situation come up to fully validate that negative thought. Our thoughts are POWERFUL, and all things start as a thought, so why not be aware of them and create the thoughts that bring what WE want into our lives, and not what someone else things we should bring into our lives. Imagine the things that you can attract in your life if you living your life “awake” and living that life based on YOUR truth. Likes attract like, so when you are living your true authentic self, you will attract others that are also living such a life style and there by create a support system for yourself. Be prepared for life changing events to occur when you start living your life based on your truth. Don’t have any expectations, enjoy the ride and look at the beautiful blue sky that is always present no matter what gray clouds my come your way.