Go With the Flow
February 2, 2010
by Briana Pierce
“Overwhelmed” seems to be the word of the day for many, lately. Through years of practice (and falling flat on my face), I’ve gotten a little better at handling the periods of complete, overwhelming chaos – when everything is so big you feel like you just can’t handle it and would like to be admitted to the psych ward!
It’s easy to get overwhelmed when our reality gets to be too much to handle – especially if a crisis hits and throws our emotions, schedules, finances or what have you out of whack. Often, people have a tendency to ignore their feelings – especially when there seems to be so little time to process them – and as human beings, our gut reaction is to panic when we feel helpless and out of control. Rather than trying to “buck up” and push through a tough situation, the keys to avoiding a nervous breakdown (or getting through one) are to create an increased sense of inner calm and find ways to regain a modicum of control over the situation. As a previous single mother and someone with a lifelong history of anxiety and repressed emotions (and dealing with the occasional nervous breakdown), here are some of the techniques that I’ve learned along the way:
First, and most importantly, take a few minutes for yourself. It doesn’t matter what else is going on in your world; unless you can get it together, everything else will probably fall apart. Get rid of the kids (or other distractions) for 20 minutes, take a bath after they go to sleep, wake up early with a cup of tea – it doesn’t need to be much at first. Give yourself the space to stop and feel. Angry? Sad? Lonely? Afraid? Get it out!! Write it down, sing it, dance, kick things – just DON’T HOLD IT IN. Trust me – it always comes out sooner or later, and the sooner the better!
Now, grab something to write on and a pen. Take a few moments to breathe deeply and center your mind (if you can), and start in on a list! Take everything you have on your plate, and break it down into individual components. Think ahead, and try to include everything that is included in each “thing”. For example, if you suddenly find yourself needing to relocate, break that down into pieces:
- Find a house
- Pack
- Get finances in order
- Move
Now, take each of those pieces and break them down into decisions and tasks. For example:
- Find a house
- Call Realtor to start looking at rentals
- Stay in district or look elsewhere?
- Contact property management companies
- Search Craigslist
Add due dates (if you can) and information you already know. Taking the time out to make this list will help create a sense of order and structure – instead of this huge, jumbled, chaotic mess, you have the beginning of a plan. You can sit down with your family and discuss tasks, priorities, suggestions and additions – and start checking things off the list!
It helps to know that some things, no matter how small they may seem, are within your control. As for the things you can’t control? Life is like a river. Sometimes it’s slow and meandering, sometimes a crazy rushing stretch of rapids that ends in Niagara Falls – but the water is always moving.
Perhaps the river itself taught me best: If you fall in, keep your feet pointed in the direction you want to go and your head above water – and go with the flow.