Butterfly Dreams
March 13, 2010
by Jeffrey Pierce
My junior year in high school, I was diagnosed with stomach cancer. I'd been having some stomach issues and there was a good deal of blood in my stool. My doctor ran some tests and confirmed that it wasn't internal bleeding, but an actual growth in my stomach. We prepared for additional tests and the necessity of being treated for cancer at seventeen years of age.
Like so many other issues in my world - viral meningitis, a shredded ACL in my right knee, chronic sinusitis bad enough that I had surgery to recarved my sinuses and put in drainage tubes - the cancer simply disappeared. No one could explain it. It was another medical miracle.
I am the least likely person in the world to complain about a physical symptom. I ran distance in track with Osgood-Schlatter Disease in my knee so severe that the coach told me (one of the stars of the team) that I could no longer run until I got a doctor's clearance to do so or I'd be kicked off the team. (My knee was swollen to the size of a child's party balloon and I was still winning races). I soloed in a band concert in the depths of viral meningitis, was captain of the soccer team for two years with a total of three fractures in one ankle and two in the other, and completed my qualifications to be assigned to a Ranger battalion in the United States Army with stress fractures in both shins and a fractured bone in my elbow.
So if you hear me admit that I'm struggling with recovery from the stroke, it really means something.
Almost three years ago, I realized that I was developing a small brain tumor. I spoke to a couple of friends I trust in the mystical spirituality community and they confirmed it through various intuitive and divinatory means. Initially, I knew that it was going to be my doorway from this life to the Elsewhere, but I consciously chose another path. Don't worry, I'm planning to stay around until I'm old and crotchety.
Then the stroke hit. I lost the ability to communicate due to Broca's Aphasia and began having grande mal seizures. The biggest challenge for me was the absolutely debilitating fatigue. I felt like I had zero energy. Now when I say that I have no energy, it doesn't mean that I'm tired. It means that my energetic reserves are scraped clean and that I can't pull energy from any source - including nature and the spirit world.
Last night, as I was going to sleep, I felt myself being pulled to do some shamanic work in that space between being fully awake and fully asleep. Images began to flash by me until my mind's eye focused on a red butterfly.
the "butterfly" that appeared to me right before sleep
It took me a few moments to realize that I wasn't looking at a butterfly at all, but was looking at a brain scan laid side-by-side. The dark circle near the bottom of the butterfly's wings was actually a large mass pressing on the frontal lobe - the same part of the brain that controls speech and communication.
So I erased the mass, filled it with healthy brain tissues, made sure that the visualization had stabilized, and drifted off to sleep.
Whenever I'm called to do shamanic work, it's always because someone is in need and can't tackle the challenge before them on their own. This is the first time, as far as I can remember, when I've done it for myself. With that in mind, I had no reason to think it was for me as I slipped into dreams and left the visualization behind.
This morning when I woke up, I felt great! I actually have energy, not a lot, but some - which is more than I've been able to feel for almost a year. I'm thinking clearly and my memory seems to not only be functioning properly, but I think that I actually got back all of the memories that I'd lost through the stroke.
What's more is that our middle daughter told Bri that she had a dream about me last night. In the dream I "started twitching" (seizures) and then I "threw up" but after that everything was healed. Bri and I also shared dreams last night (we both independently dreamed about an industrial area where we discovered we could run faster than the normal human limitations) so the Dreamtime around our home was certainly interwoven last night. With both my visualization and my daughter's dream in hand - and the fact that I actually have energy this morning - I'm going to count my blessings and thank the Universe for an early birthday present. After all, I turn forty tomorrow. What better gift than a medical miracle and a new lease on life?